If you’re a single woman, you apparently have only two choices. You can either be a cynical, bitter but busy woman who’ll turn down every date just because she can, or you can be the type to curl up watching romantic films while sobbing into a box of chocolates with only a cat for company. Then there’s me, and I don’t fit into either. Well, not all the time anyway…
As a love-sick teenager, I’m sure I wasted time moping and whining about how life seemed eternally man-less. The Forever Alone meme was plastered all over my Facebook ‘ironically’, because nothing’s more attractive than desperation! I also have to admit that I did morph into somewhat of a love-sceptic when returning to the single life after being coupled up.
Nowadays, as a fully-fledged member of the single club, I sit somewhere in between the two extremes. By that I mean, dancing to ‘Independent Women’ passionately while trying to catch the eye of the handsome bloke at the bar. I think I’m like a lot of single women but not like the polarised stereotypes (ok, maybe I am a bit like Bridget Jones, with usually prettier knickers).
I will happily spend my Saturday night watching Take Me Out (when I’m not busy socialising, obviously), but no matter how many ‘joke’ application forms my friends send me, I don’t feel right applying to join the flirty thirty. I can’t imagine myself screaming at the mere sight of an average man. Contradictorily, I’m not fussy enough to turn my light out just because a contestant has said his best mate is his Nan. My special talents do not include clapping my arse cheeks together either so I don’t think the production team would want me anyway.
I haven’t even ventured into the world of online dating. I mean, I’ve browsed Plenty of Fish on many a lonely night but the idea of signing up and messaging someone is absurd. I’m just looking, I’m not buying! I haven’t even installed Tinder so I think I may be a Victorian!
This Valentine’s Day helped confirm my contentment with the single life. This year, there were no roses or declarations of love but I did get sent 12 Pukka Pies “to enjoy over the Valentine’s Weekend” from a Facebook competition. Who could feel incomplete single when you’ve got a freezer full of pastry? (Disclaimer: I did not eat them all at once).